"Though I love our image of
the 'perfect couple', but if I read between the lines, may be I am unsatisfied.
Its been three years, but I am still desprately waiting for the day when my lady love will take the sexual lead and surprise me with her moves. Many times, I thought of discussing it with her, but droped the idea as she may find it deogatory. Though we share a great chemistry, but it in or outside the bedroom, still crave for the day whe she wold make the first move, 'confess Samrat Tripathi, a 29 year old Delhi-based media person.
Samrath isn't the only one craving for his gitrl to initiate the action in bed. "Is it just me who wants sex?, "Am I failling to satisfy her?", "Is my technique wrong?", Does she wish for more pampering and foreplay?" are some of the thoughts that keep haunting men. This thought process keeps them so occupied that most of the time they fail to see some of the very obvious reasons for their problem.
Will he respond?
Many women with fragile ego find it difficult to kick start the action in the bedroom, as the fear of rejection keeps hounding them.
Aarti Rawat, a call centre executive says, "I am not afraid of telling my boyfriend what I need from him, but something holds me back initiating sex. Guys are so complicated and it's difficult to understand their needs so I keep guessing what's on his mind. I can just give him subtle signals like rubbing my cheeks against his or a passionate kiss to reveal my innate desires, but most of the times he fails to understand my hidden passion within these moves. It obviously hurts me so, even if I want to, so I let him take the lead."
Expert speak: A relationship counselor suggests, "There is a very simple rule in love, leave your ego hassles on the other side of the door. It is not only women who are frightened of rejection, at times men also feel the same. So first of all, start responding to the hints that your partner is dropping for you. If she kisses you, then respond in an equally passionate way. Don't ignore her needs and cravings, even if you are very busy. Tell her you need some time if you are pre-occupied and let her feel you are intently listening to her desires. Tell her that you really love it when she makes the first move. It will definitely boost her confidence and her fear of rejection may disappear soon."
Not tonight honey!
How often do you hear this? But merely blaming your partner for never being in the mood is not fair.
How often do you hear this? But merely blaming your partner for never being in the mood is not fair.
Sheela Oberoi, a school teacher says, "I am in my mid 30s, have a family to look after and a job that consumes nearly ten hours everyday. When I go back to my bedroom at 11 o'clock in the night, I am left with no energy to make hot love. May be my age has also affected my sex drive. Many times my hubby complains about it, but there is nothing I am able to do about my low sex drive."
Expert speak: "If your partner's interest in sex has dropped significantly, try to make make an effort to find out what is it that is responsible for the same. If it is just stress and fatigue, then you should find out ways to relive the mental tension. Be it a surprise vacation, an erotic massage or just an elongated conversation at a lavish dinner - try out diverse ways to take your lover's mind off the nitty gritties of life. And never forget to experiment in bed," suggests.
She thinks it's a taboo
Do guys really think highly of girls who take the lead in sex? Many girls grow up with this question in their mind.
Sawati Arora, a bank employee says, "I am getting married in a few months, but I have no plans to take the lead in bed with my future hubby. My friends have made me believe that if I do so, he may think that I have had some past experience and may doubt my loyalty. According to the normal perception, guys are supposed to initiate things in bed and I plan to stick to the same."
Expert speak: "Most of new age women also have this fact imprinted in their mind somewhere. So you should make all possible efforts to erase these doubts from her mind forever. On a date, try to talk to her about what turns her on and how eagerly you want her to make efforts to pamper you in bed. She may take sometime to get okay with the idea, but if you try to make her comfortable, soon she will express her desires in every possible way."
Employing the subtle tricks of seduction, patience and some sexperiment you are likely to get what you have been vying for.
